Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
