Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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