Don't you send me to vm
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
