I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
