This is not my ceiling
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
