He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
