....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
