i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
