Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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