Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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