PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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