I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
