Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
