you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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