he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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