I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Drunk is a universal language darling
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