I heard we made out
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
