I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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