are you so shy because you have an std?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
