i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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