Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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