So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
