i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
