I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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