just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
