I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
