fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
