STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
