Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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