I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
