well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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