quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
