dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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