So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
