Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
