Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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