Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
