walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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