2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
