I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
