$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize