Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
