i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
50% drunk capacity currently
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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