Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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