If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
