Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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