dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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