one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What happened to fro yo and sex?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
