we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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