we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Randomize
