Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
