O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
