we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
