Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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