I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
