Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
