My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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