What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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