I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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