Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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