so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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